Deja vu and the 'elephant in the corner' (more will be revealed)

Here we are two years on from when I first starting blogging, and I'm sitting at home recovering from yet another operation. The resulting wound is healing ok or so the four different district nurses I've had have told me. But in myself I'm not up to much. Arthur had to visit the bike shop in nearby Leigh (http://www.richardsonscycles.co.uk/) on saturday and I thought I'd go along, a bit of fresh air would do me good. We parked not 5 minutes walk away and I struggled to keep up even with Arthur in slow mode. Standing in the shop whilst we were served I began to feel a bit light headed and had to sit down.

I wanted to go to another shop just round the corner, managed to get that far, but must have looked a bit ropey cos Arthur suggested we go into a nearby cafe for a cup of tea, something he'd not suggest normally.

Even the smallest of chores seems to tire me so easily, yesterday a bit of washing up and sorting out clothes washing was all I attempted. Today I have managed a little more.

What is all this leading up to you may think! Why do we need to know this!

Well it's that 'elephant in the corner' or in my case the Scott road bike I bought for the cycle training camp so I didn't have to take my beloved hand built Bob Jackson. I can't get on it for it to be set up properly or to train on it and the training camp (http://www.sportactive.net/) is coming at me like a run away train. I want to get on with my training but unless things improve by next weekend that is another week gone.

Hopefully the advertised easy group is just that and not audax riders showing how fast they can go which I've heard some local lead training camps are. I suppose it will be try it and see and if I can't keep up I will have to go walking with other 'WAGS'. Funny how best laid plans can go awry. But I can have fun looking at the 'elephant in corner'!

P.S. I also need to get back to my yoga, see previous post, if only for Arthur's sanity. It seems by going to yoga the clicks and cracks from my joints (knees especially) all but disappeared! Result!!!!!!!

Lets try again!

Here we are at the beginning of October, with all those resolutions failed again. I didn't loose the the weight I'd promised myself, but on the good side I haven't gained any.

Because of Arthur's new business getting up and running we haven't ridden the bikes as much as we'd have liked, but when I have although I've suffered I haven't taken long to recover. The main ride on the Gate weekend was the usual 30 0dd miles but I managed to finish albeit tired but proud to have kept up with the fitter riders.

We have decided that a Spring training camp may do us a bit of good and give us a bit of sunshine after the long winter days. After looking at several options it was a bit pot luck. One of the camps we'd considered had a discount if booked before the end of September so we went for that one. Plus they preferred Saturday to Saturday bookings which fits in with my holiday requirements. Hopefully if we both enjoy the experience it'll be a early year starter to be repeated.

I've also recently started a yoga class hopefully this will be something I will not give up as easily as the gym which I found rather boring. One positive is that the class is only a 5 minute walk away so it won't feel too bad to go out on those winter nights when it's pouring with rain or freezing cold.

But as I've said before 'watch this space!'

Time to move on?

Today is the eve of the 10th anniversary of Mick's death. I have decided that this year I will sort out all those bits and pieces, this really should have been done years ago. Unfortunately when I start to do this I find myself getting tense and upset. I have no use for these things, but memories are attached to them. Day to day I have learned to live with the fact I lost someone I'd been with for 24 years and married to for 16, sometimes it feels like a life time ago and sometimes I can almost remember minute by minute those first few weeks, what happened and what was said.

I coped on my own for the most part because everyone around me was hurting too and I didn't need them getting upset whilst looking through what to most people would have been every day items.

It now seems silly to hold onto parts for cars that have long been sold, but I could only take the parting of these things in small doses. But this week I have made a start, ringing people to come and look with a view to buying, taking photos to put on ebay. Making a note of books ready to ring someone who's business card was given to me 2 years ago or so.

Will I move on, and find the 'strength' to make a big push and tackle the rest of the house, so it will be clean and tidy ready to be sold in a year or so and it won't be a big panic to clear everything. What to keep for memories sake? What goes because it's been in a drawer for 10 years or more without me needing it? Coming from a family of hoarders doesn't help either.

I have a new life but the past can't be erased completely. But to move on is the right thing to do.



In memory of Mick

Michael Paul Hutson
04/03/1959-02/05/2000

Reunions

This being my 50th year along with two of my closest friends we decided to finally meet up with school friends we hadn't seen for years. The first meeting happened in January when Sue (who I've known since I was 12 and meet on a regular 4 to 6 week basis, the only time we didn't see each other very much was in our 20's and 30's due to marriage and family commitments) and I met up with Irene who moved to London in her early 20's and her life has taken on a different direction to us. After getting over the change in hair colour for her it was as if we'd last met a week or a month ago instead of 30 years. We spent many hours catching up unfortunatley as I had another engagement that evening the day had to be cut short. But we did promise that it wouldn't be as long again before we meet otherwise we'll be on zimmer frames or one of those motorised chairs.

Last Friday with my other friend Sue (who I've known since I was 5 or 6 and we try and meet 2 or 3 times a year for lunch to catch up on the gossip, if not we converse by letter) we met up with Julie who we'd last seen 10 years ago and Linda who Sue meets regularly but I'd not seen since my late teens. I don't think I've laughed so much in ages, the banter between us and Linda's dry wit was just the same. I think the other people in the pub must have wondered what had hit them. Again the afternoon flew by and we all promised not to leave it to our 60th year to meet up again.

Why is we let our lives go on and not take time to meet people, I have family members that I haven't seen for 10 years or more, why is it a 'family occasion' be it an anniversary, marriage, christening or the worst a funeral has to happen before we get together, it's not just me but also them not taking the time. Perhaps they like me think of phoning then think I'll do that tomorrow, that becomes next week, then a month then before you know it a year, 5 years etc.............. Who knows?

Fitness for 2010

During the summer I joined the gym hoping that I'd get into a routine that would continue to winter. As usual I failed miserably and even when Arthur joined too we only managed one session together before work, weather and poor health stopped play.

I got on the scales today, after many months of staying away, just to get a start on this years promise of weight loss and fitness. I was lighter than expected but heavier than I want to be. My first goals are 1). To loose at least 5lbs 2). To get out on the bike at the weekends 3). Use that gym membership more, all before the February trip to San Francisco.

Hopefully this will give me a good base for the early year audaxs which will be ridden on the Tandem, then to the first time trial of the year at Easter.

I had great hopes last year, but I was definitely not fit enough for the holiday in France, and I really suffered on the Gate Weekend. Let's hope this year is mileage high and healthier!!!!!!!

Heading for the big 5 0!

It's fast approaching and on one hand it doesn't bother me but on the other I do still look in the mirror and wonder why my mum is looking back at me! Do I go all out and celebrate this half century birthday or keep it low key. Do I want to do something very exciting, something I'll remember into my old age or let it go with a damp squib!!!!!

Arthur rode the van Vlaanderen along with Ed, plus me and Nick to share the rest of the weekend which just happened to coincide with his birthday and for once my Spring term break from work. But my birthday is 3 weeks after the Christmas break and the next half term isn't until the end of February, I could write to the School governors for permission to have time off for a special occasion but what to do?

Arthur has plans for me/us which he drops hints about every so often but what do I want to do to mark this birthday? Need to give it a lot more thought!!!!

Glasses and fitness

Had my first ever sight test in April (apart from the colour blind ones we used to have at school)and was given two prescriptions one for reading and one for watching TV. Couldn't make up my mind on the day whether to have two pairs of glasses or one pair of varifocals, so left it. Kept putting off making the decision until trying to read a map on the way to a time trial very early in the morning when I had to put on Arthur's glasses. Realised this could be a problem when we go to France in a few weeks.

Well I finally gave in and chose a pair of varifocals. The optician said I'd probably end up wearing them all the time but so far I tend to put them on once I start watching TV. Walking up and down the stairs hasn't been a problem but just general walking is odd as the focus changes can catch me out. Not tried driving in them although had them on when moving the car on the drive, again the sensation was weird. Put them on today to watch the tour got up to go into the kitchen and surprised my self by suddenly thinking 'Oh I've got my glasses on!' So not so bad after all.

Have made another big decision for the summer, I've rejoined the local health centre, I'm hoping that I'll get into a routine before I go back to work and that will set me up for the winter. Got talked into the most expensive package but I do get a personal trainer for 3 sessions and she'll work out the best sessions for what I hope to achieve. I've had inductions at gyms before and once the trainer shows you the machines they never seem to be around again to help or advise on how to advance your training schedule. Hopefully with having someone there for the first few weeks it'll give me more incentive to keep going back. I'd like to start swimming again too as this is a good exercise for general all round fitness. I'll update on this subject after my first session.

Well the first session went well the usual machines on offer plus a few awkward exercises using a gym ball, I can never do those too many things to think about. Any exercises using the legs doubly hurts because those muscles are used for cycling and not used to being stretched and holding position. I take it things will get better, have my next session on Thursday, watch this space....................